1. Enter Last, Sit Last, Eat Last

Always let your host or someone older than you to eat first. However, don't overthink if they insist that you eat first. They likely want you to do so since you’re their guest. But never try to pick up your chopsticks unless your host is asking you to dig in. Once you've finished eating, say hǎochī, which means delicious in Mandarin.

If you’re entering a room, give way to your host and the seniors first. Again, if they insist that you enter first, then there is no need to be extra polite. Let’s leave the ultra politeness to the Japanese.

When you’re with a group of people at a restaurant, try to sit down last. This will show your host that you understand Chinese etiquette.

Sit tight, your million-dollar business deal is about to be finalized!

2. Drink Bottom Up, Gānbēi

Chinese people love to drink while discussing business at the dining table. They see this as a way of bonding, and an opportunity to test your friendship. Chinese people love to drink bottom up for every round of drinking. They will spend hundreds if not thousands on drinking.

Tip: Maotai (茅台), a brand of Chinese distilled liquor, is a super luxury spirit favored by Chinese politicians and businesspeople looking to impress their guests. If you’re treated with Maotai, please refer to rule #10 (keep reading).

However, if you’re allergic to alcohol, don’t be afraid to give a heads-up to others. They will understand. Just don’t pretend you don’t drink. It’s considered offensive.

If you’re a vegetarian, let your Chinese colleagues or friends know too. Unfortunately, gluten-free is not a thing in China yet. Sorry, my Whole Foods people.

3. Humility Is Your Humble Friend

Americans can oftentimes come off as proud. Don’t get me wrong, confidence is a great thing. But it’s not highly regarded in Chinese social etiquette. Being too proud is particularly bad when you meet someone for the first time in any country influenced by Confucian culture.

There is no magic shortcut that can channel China expertise to a foreign manager; each individual must pass through an often painful learning process. Still, there is one way to fast-forward along the learning curve by showing the contrasting characteristics of humility and strength… - Forbes

For countries that value Confucianism, such as Japan and Korea, humility is paramount in initial social interactions. Your first meeting with your Chinese friend is not about you, rather an exchange of ideas. No matter how much of an influential person you are, take a step back, and let your Chinese counterpart do what a host should do.

A little tip: let them buy your first meal but you need to offer to pay first.

4. Bring a Gift From Your Hometown

Your gift doesn’t have to be expensive. Anything from America will be appreciated by your Chinese host.

It would be even better if you can bring something that represents your culture. For instance, if you’re from New York, bring some Yankee caps (Yeah, visiting your local Lids store won’t be a bad idea).

If you’re from Boston, bring them a Harvard University T-shirt. I know, it sounds cliche but your Chinese host will appreciate it, especially if they have kids.

5. Show Your Curiosity About Chinese Culture

Do research before you travel to China. Read a few books if you can. We’ve compiled a great reading list in another blog post for you to explore.

If reading is not your thing, watch Chinese movies. Try to find some recent popular ones, just not Crazy Rich Asians. Why recent you say? Well, you want to find a common topic with your Chinese friends. An old Bruce Lee movie is great but your Chinese friend may not remember the plot. If you need some really good movie ideas, here’s a list of 8 thought-provoking documentaries ever made about China.

If you’re not into movies and books, then any curiosity about China will help. Just not the stereotypes, or anything offensive. Avoid any sensitive topics, such as censorship or human rights. I’m not saying that those matters can’t be discussed. They’re just not very friendly topics for your initial meeting. You just don’t know where the conversation will lead. Plus, there are so many different topics to talk about.

Choose something more friendly, like culture, food, or famous sites. The conversation should be centered around being polite and engaged. Only good curiosity will be well received.

6. Offer Your Insight on America

Here you can be more open. Your Chinese friends would love to hear what you think of America, where you live, the car you drive, what you think of your current president.

No matter what American media fed you, let me tell you that no Chinese hates America. The truth is, they love America! Don’t believe me? The biggest international student group (more than 360,000 students) studying in America is from China.

“For the tenth consecutive year, China remained the largest source of international students in the United States in 2018/19 with 369,548 students in undergraduate, graduate, non-degree, and optional practical training (OPT) programs…” (iie.org)

All the middle-class and rich Chinese parents send their kids to America to acquire a better education. Many of these Chinese parents are from the elite class of cultured, wealthy, and eminent social sphere of China.

“To help their children get into American universities, Chinese parents have started sending them to U.S. high schools — and paying top dollar to do it.” (The New York Times Magazine)

7. Be a Fan of the Chinese Economy

Chinese people might seem to show a great deal of humility to strangers but deep in their hearts, they are a very proud group of people. They take pride in being a part of a civilization that has existed for nearly 4000 years.

Here’re some starters: include the several historic inventions that changed the world, such as paper-making, printing, gunpowder, the compass. It would be meaningful to your host if you showed your interest in their culture.

I’m not suggesting that you need to worship China. Just a few good words will help you gain a good impression. Talk about the growth of their city, their e-commerce, technology, and high-speed trains. None of those options are boring topics and can lead to hour-long conversations.

Read this for a quick lesson on China and Globalization by Rand Corporation. It’s been one of my favorite articles about China. Highly recommended.

8. Present the Good Side of You

Always show your kindness and support to your Chinese friends. Just keep doing what you’re doing in America.

For instance, if they’re not recycling bottles, you should still do it. If someone is cutting lines, you shouldn’t. If someone is jaywalking, you shouldn’t.

Your Chinese friends are observing your every action. They know what’s good and bad. And, they will be even more impressed if you still keep your standard in a foreign country.

9. Show Off Your Mandarin

If you want to truly impress your Chinese friends, there’s nothing better than being able to converse in Chinese. Even though you might not be very proficient, knowing a few phrases will still make you look super intelligent.

Frequently used Chinese words, phrases, and sentences you might find helpful.

• Hello 你好 Nǐhǎo

• Thanks 谢谢 Xièxie

• Goodbye 再见 Zàijiàn

• You’re welcome 不客气 Bú kè qì

• Sorry 对不起 Duì bù qǐ

• Delicious 好吃 Hǎochī

• My name is 我叫 Wǒ jiào

• I speak English 我讲英语 Wǒ jiǎng yīngyǔ

• I don’t speak Chinese 我不讲中文 Wǒ bù jiǎng zhōngwén

If you want to learn a few more sentences, such as introducing yourself. Check out these videos.

10. Express Your Gratitude, Say Xiexie

Always end your sentence with Xièxie (谢谢), which is thank you in Chinese. An old saying in Chinese goes: a favor is returned ten folds if one small favor is given. Your Chinese friend or host will show even greater hospitality.

Xièxie for reading this article! Feel free to leave a comment below and share what you think is important when meeting a Chinese person.